About 40 to 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce, according to the American Psychological Association.
I’ve never been married, but I remember watching my parents separate when I was barely a teenager. The one thing that stood out most about the whole ordeal? It’s costly.
Elise Pettus, founder of UNtied, an online divorce resource for women, says there isn’t a fixed figure for how much a divorce runs, but $13,000 is the approximate average in the United States. And that’s without factoring in children.
Pettus went through a divorce in 2010. Seeing a lack of a single hub where women facing divorce could connect and locate professional help, she launched UNtied in 2013.
So what drives divorce expenses so high?
After speaking with specialists, it became clear: The small costs you might not initially expect are the ones that ultimately drain your finances during a divorce.
Let’s dig deeper.
The Divorce Process Is More Involved Than You Imagine
When you picture divorce, you might envision sitting across from your soon-to-be ex and an attorney. Ideally, you’d both agree on dividing assets and parental arrangements, then sign paperwork to finalize things.
Unfortunately, reality is rarely that straightforward. Depending on how contentious your case becomes, many additional charges can surface.
The Charges That Quickly Accumulate
Hiring a lawyer or a mediator is just one part of the expense that comes with divorce.
Nearly every element of your divorce carries a fee: each phone conversation, every drive to court and more. You might not think about paying for each of those separately when you retain an attorney, but your final invoice will include those items. Rates differ depending on your lawyer.
Here are some costs that can quickly raise the price of divorce:
Legal Costs
- Attorney time: One of the largest expenses in any legal matter is your attorney’s time. Some bill by the minute, others by the hour — and you’re charged until the case concludes. According to Lawyers.com, hourly attorney rates can vary from $100 to $400, depending on location, case complexity, experience and more.
- Document copy fees: The cost to duplicate necessary documents depends on your attorney and their rates. You’ll need copies of tax returns, bank records, credit card statements and other paperwork.
- Appraisers: You’ll likely pay an appraiser to value assets like real estate, antiques, art, collectibles, etc. Pettus notes an appraisal can run into the thousands.
- Attorney travel time: Each trip your lawyer makes to and from court to handle your case is billed to you.
- Updating your will: According to LegalZoom, hiring an attorney to draft a new will can cost $100 to $150, and more for complex wills.
- Forensic accountant: If the divorce becomes a fierce fight, you may need a forensic accountant to uncover assets or funds a spouse may have concealed. Given the specialization required, expect to pay several hundred dollars per hour for this service.
Costs You Might Face If Children Are Involved
- Guardian ad litem fees: A guardian ad litem is a court-appointed professional who investigates the children’s best interests — such as living arrangements and parental contact. Pettus says hiring one can cost between $150 and $250 an hour.
- Custody evaluation: This usually occurs when parents can’t agree on custody. According to DivorceNet, a mental health professional typically conducts a custody assessment to determine parenting responsibilities; it’s similar to a guardian ad litem review.
DivorceNet notes: “A county custody evaluation will probably cost between $1,000 and $2,500, and you could pay $10,000 or more for a private evaluation.”
- Parenting classes: Some states require parents to attend classes before divorce. These programs teach the effects of divorce on children and provide an overview of the process. Sometimes you can complete them online for as little as $20.
Can You Save Money on a Divorce?
If the potential costs are overwhelming, there are a few approaches you can explore to reduce expenses.
Because these cost-cutting techniques aren’t ideal for every situation, it’s wise to speak with a legal professional to see which options fit your circumstances.
Here are several ways you might keep divorce costs down:
Look at Alternatives to Litigation
There are various paths to divorce, including litigation, mediation and collaborative law.
Bill Yanger, an attorney in Tampa, Florida, explains the distinctions between these methods.
Litigation means filing a lawsuit against your spouse. When you litigate a divorce, you ask the court to issue a judgment based on law and facts.
Mediation, Yanger says, is “a setting where the parties meet and sit down to review the facts and try to reach an agreement.” A neutral mediator helps spouses negotiate terms, and in many cases you don’t need an attorney, according to DivorceNet. Mediation tends to be faster and less expensive than litigation.
Collaborative divorce is a process where both parties commit to negotiating a fair arrangement — similar to mediation, but with each spouse represented by collaborative attorneys.
In a collaborative case, both parties prioritize the best interests of themselves and their children while using resources wisely. Yanger suggests that collaborative law is “probably the most economical” path to divorce.
No matter which approach you choose, a judge must still sign off on your divorce.
Remember that you’ll ultimately appear before a judge who will review and approve your agreements. Court fees will differ by state and depend on the case’s complexity.
Be Mindful of Time Spent on Calls With Your Lawyer
Every interaction with your attorney carries a cost, including phone calls. Pettus notes that many lawyers bill time in six-minute increments.
To avoid bloating your bill for phone time, she recommends preparing a list of questions and calling once, rather than phoning repeatedly whenever something comes to mind.
She also cautions against emotional venting during calls because it consumes billable time.
“Think of [a divorce] as a business transaction,” she said. “That perspective can help people be more efficient with their attorneys.”
Gather Your Documents in Advance
Courts scrutinize many documents, such as bank statements, to determine asset division and spousal support.
Pettus advises having all relevant paperwork ready to minimize charges.
She emphasizes that tracking your daily spending independently is crucial to saving money during the divorce. If you wait for your lawyer to tally your expenses, you’ll incur higher fees.
Consider Unbundled Legal Services
Unbundling is when you and your soon-to-be ex handle certain matters yourselves without an attorney’s presence.
According to Pettus, unbundling remains fairly new in many states — but it can be among the most efficient strategies during a divorce.
She notes this approach can lower costs but cautions it’s appropriate only when there aren’t major disputes.
Accept That There Are No Real Winners
If your goal is to avoid a prolonged, costly separation, Pettus shares this guidance:
Enter the process willing to let go of “winning” every point.
“If you approach the entire process with one or two priorities and recognize that no one truly walks away from a divorce as the winner, you’re likely to get through it quicker and for less money,” she said.
Divorces require compromise — accepting that can save you money over time.
Also consider reading up on the costs of life after divorce, options for a low cost divorce, and how income and spousal support might affect your finances.
By being prepared, choosing the right path and focusing on priorities, you can reduce the financial strain a divorce often brings.
