Death isn’t inexpensive.
The typical funeral — including a viewing and burial — ran$7,181 in 2014, according to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA). If you opt for a burial vault, the cost rises to $8,508.
Still, there’s a way to avoid steep funeral expenses without compromising your loved one’s dignity.
You can shave hundreds and even thousands of dollars off funeral expenses by using a memorial society.
How do I know? Sadly, from personal experience.
My Son’s Story
In 1988, when he was 12, my son Jason passed away at home. He suffered from Marfan’s Syndrome, a life-threatening inherited condition.
Marfan’s can manifest in different severities. It isn’t always fatal at a young age; some people live comparatively long lives with minimal or no obvious symptoms.
When Jason’s pediatrician informed us that his time was near, I began looking into final arrangements. During that search I discovered a book on estate planning that included a section about memorial societies.
What Is a Memorial Society?
A memorial society is a nonprofit, nonsectarian group that helps people secure reasonably priced end-of-life and funeral services.
These organizations are usually volunteer-run and supply funeral-planning guidance.
The Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA) serves as the umbrella organization for national memorial societies, with numerous chapters across the U.S.
When a member dies, volunteers perform tasks permitted by each state, such as driving the hearse. The memorial society maintains a contract with a local funeral director to handle embalming or cremation work required by law.
What Does Membership Usually Cost?
Fees differ by chapter. You can view local memorial society dues in your state.
In 1988, we paid a one-time, lifetime fee of $7 when we joined in Washington state. As of 2016, lifetime membership in Washington is $35 per person; still an incredible bargain.
When we relocated to Ohio, thanks to reciprocity among chapters, we didn’t have to pay again. Each chapter establishes its own dues, and sometimes membership is free under particular circumstances.
How Do Memorial Society Members Get Such Low Fees?
The FCA negotiates contracted prices with local funeral homes that are hundreds and oftenthousandsof dollars below the funeral home’s publicly listed rates.
As mentioned, volunteers perform certain duties in place of a funeral director, which is how families save so much. You don’t have to pay a funeral director to drive a hearse or an ambulance to pick up the deceased when a volunteer steps in.
Note, the membership dues are separate from any fees you pay to the funeral home. Chapters usually do not provide burial or cremation services themselves — though some do — so you’ll still pay the funeral home directly for those expenses. Or, for burial rather than cremation, you’ll be responsible for the cemetery plot.
Who Are the Volunteers?
Volunteer arrangements differ among chapters.
For example, when I contacted the People’s Memorial Society in Washington state, a representative told me anyone can volunteer for a memorial society. Volunteers aren’t required to be — though often are — members.
It’s different in Cleveland. The People’s Memorial Society there was started by Quakers and counts 250,000 members, said Bill McCullam,president of its board.
The Quaker community places great value on the society, and local church members volunteer to perform duties, such as retrieving the body after death, out of love and respect for the end-of-life process.
How Being Memorial Society Members Helped Us When Our Son Died
My husband and I joined while Jason was still living, so we had time to discuss his wishes for the end of his life.
We asked him about favorite hymns, flowers, the clothing he wanted for burial, and other preferences for his memorial service.
Jason was emotionally and mentally mature for his age, and though the conversation was difficult, he understood we were focused on his comfort. We wanted to honor his final requests.
Knowing exactly what Jason wanted after he was gone lifted a tremendous emotional weight from us. It removed much of the guesswork about his preferences for end-of-life arrangements. This mattered because we concentrated on Jason’s quality of life before, during and after his passing.
When the moment arrived, I phoned our hospice nurse while my husband stayed with Jason at his bedside. Then I rang the memorial society.
One phone call set everything in motion. Memorial society volunteers arrived to collect Jason’s body within an hour.
The volunteers were remarkable; compassionate, respectful, kind and gentle. Even though my husband and I were emotionally shattered, they knew the steps and quietly handled them.
Their support made coping with this tragedy more bearable. It was the best possible outcome in the worst situation a parent can go through.
What We Ultimately Paid With the Memorial Society
In 1988, we paid a total of $2,200 for Jason’s airfare, embalming, pine box casket and burial plot in Ohio, where my husband’s relatives lived.
Today, burial in a simple pine box or cremation runs about $1,000 through a memorial society. For example, theCleveland Memorial Societylists simple cremation for $755 and simple burial for $895. Contact your local society for current pricing.
Either way, it’s far less than the sticker shock you may have read about when arranging an affordable funeral.
If you want to save hundreds or even thousands on end-of-life expenses, look into your local memorial society. It’s a modest amount to pay for the advantages.
From my perspective, having everything planned ahead of time was more peaceful, so we weren’t forced to make decisions in the immediate aftermath.
Your Turn: Would you join a memorial society?
