Before you roll your eyes so hard something flies out of your nose, let me clarify.
While some claim that chivalry has vanished, millennials are actually approaching dating sensibly. Yes, their dating often involves swiping left or right on apps — but they’re keeping costs down while they do it.
Why First Dates Are Becoming Pricier for Young Adults
Per a recent piece from MarketWatch, many millennials avoid dinner on a first date.
The somewhat “unscientific” (yet, in my view, totally accurate) article noted that only 7 in 10,000 messagesin a recent OKCupid dataset recommended going out for dinner.
Why the shift? Besides the obvious social awkwardness, millennials simply don’t want to waste their time or money.
The article cites April Masini, an etiquette and relationship commentator, who faults technology for increasing the financial burden of dating.
Masini suggests online dating enables “serial daters” to line up first encounters more frequently, and that uptick in first dates can erode bank balances.
It’s not an exaggeration: as reported inGQ, college students might drop $50–$100 on a date, while older adults could spend $150–$250.
Imagine doing that several times a month. Oof.
So no, millennials haven’t killed chivalry — what’s more considerate than agreeing not to plunge one another into fiscal crises the first time you meet?
(Not much — student loans are already doing that job. *winky face*)
Why Dinner Dates Are Unappealing
Most of the internet seems to concur that dinner dates are not only pricey, but also kind of taboo these days.
An entire piece in Cosmopolitan rails against dinner dates as antiquated. It argues sharing a meal can feel too intimate for a first meet, and the writer claims she’d “literally rather hit up a landfill and roll around in trash.” Same.
The Art of Charm echoes the sentiment, labeling a dinner first date as “too much too soon,” and saying they’re “about the worst first date you can choose.” Who’s arguing?
We don’t need to just take those opinions — after a quick informal poll at Savinly HQ and among my Facebook pals, first dates that involve sitting down for dinner often go south fast.
Picture this kind of interaction: one Savinly reader’s dinner started with the romantic opener:
“My IQ is off the charts.”
Or consider another Savinly reader whose tale was so awkward I wanted to give her a hug after hearing it: “I had a date with an OKCupid match, it was fine. But a few days later he brought me a giant plush sheep as an ‘Easter gift.’ First, I’m an atheist. Second, [WTF]?”
And some people are just downright odd. One Facebook friend recounted: “Met a guy on Tinder (obviously), and we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. He got mad when I ordered from the ‘skinny’ menu because he said it meant he had to pick something healthy too. Which wasn’t true. He acted like a toddler, playing with the butter and using his tongue to move the straw in his drink instead of his hand. He barely talked, then made me stand in the rain afterward even though he had an umbrella. Still tried to hold my hand, though.”
Affordable (or Free) First Date Options
If I’ve terrified you enough to hide under a blanket forever, don’t panic. There are plenty of inexpensive — even free — date ideas. Here are a few, and yes, they let you bolt quickly if things go south:
- Take a walk in the park. It’s free, and if it gets weird you can walk away in the opposite direction.
- Go happy hour hopping. Pop into a couple of spots during happy hour — drink deals are usually cheap, and you can skip another round if it’s a dud.
- Ride bikes together. If your city has bike-share programs, you can rent a bike for a few dollars an hour — or if you own one, it’s free. Bikes also make speedy exits easier.
Not seeing one that fits? Check out our roundup of date night ideas for couples with kids and other budget-friendly date suggestions that don’t feel stingy.
Good luck!
Your Turn: What are your thoughts on dinner for a first date?
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